- 4:32 AM
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Ramadan 2013 has officially started, while I was pouring through this magnificent photo essay in the Atlantic portraying the beginning of the month.
I am not muslim, and I never fasted throughout but this time of year brings back memories of my time in Egypt that warm my heart. I miss living in a place where pretty much everyone fasted. I miss being conscious of the dawn and dusk, I miss going by the mosque after school and helping get iftar ready for the the poor community in my neighborhood.
There was a reason to commune every night, every Friday there was another warm home to visit, sticky baklava and qatayef, kibbeh and kofta and oum ali. Eating together is something my parents always insisted on- it's how I become to close to all of my best my friends.
Cooking and eating together is in my opinion the best way to become close to someone.
I'm taking a challenge for this month to more thoughtful and the best friend, girlfriend and family member that I can be.
Cooking and eating together is in my opinion the best way to become close to someone.
I'm taking a challenge for this month to more thoughtful and the best friend, girlfriend and family member that I can be.
Every week I will cook dinner for and with one friend, my mother or a member of my family. I will document with photographs, digital and film.
I'm challenging myself to learn new recipes, take better photographs and to spend more time eating well and eating in. I, for one am excited!
I'm challenging myself to learn new recipes, take better photographs and to spend more time eating well and eating in. I, for one am excited!
To everyone celebrating- Ramadan Kareem!
- 10:11 AM
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Want in on a secret? If you don't have a lot of time on your hands, if you have leftovers (I find tomatoes and the ends of french bread are always lying around my house.)- make bruschetta!
It's easy to make and mouth-wateringly good!
Ingredients to make just enough for one person
2 large or 5 small Tomatoes (I used the last of my Trader Joe's mini heirlooms that I buy every week.)
Extra Virgin olive oil, 1 Tbsp
Balsamic Vinegar, 1 Tsp
Fresh Basil
Salt, Pepper to taste
French Bread
Extra EVOO
Garlic (I used ready minced)
optional
Finely grate some parmesan into the mix
Here's what you do.
Get the bread ready by slicing it diagonally, putting olive oil and garlic on it and toasting it in an oven preheated to 450 degrees (F) for 6 minutes.
While you wait for the oven to warm- remove the skin from the tomatoes by placing them in boiling water that's just been taken off the heat, leaving them for 1 minutes and then taking them out.
I prick the skin with a paring knife so I can grab the skin, but then it comes right off!
Get the seeds and juice out, slice into small pieces and mix in with the olive oil, chopped fresh basil, balsamic, salt and pepper and parmesan.
Once your bread is out of the oven- pile the tomatoes on top and chow down! The results are sweet, tangy, fresh and warm!
Voila!
Hope you all had a wonderful week!
xo
Hats
- 4:36 PM
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I wore:
A perfect, sleeveless Theory dress I've had for years, some costume jewelry I got for a wedding in India and my family signet ring. Wore yesterday for work and in the rain.
I thought:
I'm thinking about Egypt today, so many of the girls I went to high school with are taking to the streets today and tomorrow to protest their president. Yesterday a young American Jew was killed while watching the protests- I love Egypt and I'm praying fervently for the safety of all protestors, and especially for the women who go out into the protests despite knowing the risk of assault and rape.
My heart is with you. Be safe, be strong.
I saw:
Eastern Market and Brunch at Tunnicliff's Tavern!
We headed up to Eastern Market today because I hear so much about it- Norman has work at midday on Saturdays so our weekend activities are pretty much all breakfast and farmer's markets. There some really great parts of the market- these water colors, for example I will definitely be coming back for. I got samples from the cheesemonger inside of a Whiskey Cheddar and could not get enough of the meats they have for sale. In the end, we popped into Tunnicliff's for brunch. Between baked brie, french toast and $5 mimosas we were fans!
- 11:32 AM
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Earlier this week Hilary of Perfect Purple Flowers as sent me a link to Denizen Magazine- a website devoted to Third Culture Kids in all their forms. I poured through the articles for hours, relishing the variety of personal challenges, ambitions and feelings about living in a culture (or cultures) which are not your own or that of your parents.
Just in case you're confused about what a Third Culture Kid is- here's a quote I particularly like from Wikipedia.
"A Third Culture Kid is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents' culture. The TCK frequently builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture may be assimilated into the TCK's life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background."- David Pollock
Thankfully, being in DC means that I can easily find people who get my TCK idiosyncrasies instead of just being amazed or annoyed by them- one of those people is certainly my loving boyfriend who is so immersed in the world outside the United States, I forget sometimes that he grew up here.
It's Friday, so I figure I should throw in some humour after the hyper-political, stressful news filled week we had here in the States.
Without further ado, here's a snapshot of what it's like to be a Third Culture Kid, all grown up and in the District!
When one of my old friends announces they're moving to Washington:
People in DC complain about the transience of this place, but the fact is that for me it's not just something I take in stride, it means that my friends who dispersed to Europe and the UK and all over this HUGE country are now coming to DC! It's the place to be for most of us who are starting careers in government, development, NGOs and everything else we grew up with and I love that!
When everyone from high school lives somewhere more exotic than me:
Being back stateside is great- but suddenly people from high school (and college) are doing much more exciting things than me. I think I actually teared up at the bar over this the other night.
When you meet a really cute guy and he says he's never really wanted to leave the country:
This pretty much the plight of any TCK who ever tried to date in the US. All I can say is- come to DC- the odds are better here.
When I can't answer "Where are you from?" and someone follows up with "Well, where do you call home?"
Keep trying....
When men try to impress me by saying they lived abroad for 3 months:
Basically all TCK dating post-college...
File under things I don't miss and am not eager to deal with again!
The point of all of this inside-joking is that I'm so happy and so grateful for my life in DC, for the plethora of films in foreign languages, parties for Nowruz, Diwali and Midsommar and for friends who will understand when I pick up and move far away from here, that it's not personal.
Goodbye isn't permanent for me, and crossing borders is about as big a deal as cross state lines.
Happy Friday!
- 9:49 AM
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Wendy Davis and Texas dems filibustered the horrific senate abortion bill into nonexistence last night- I stayed up, half asleep as the crowd erupted into people yelling "shame!" and endless arguments about time. Even after the senate voted and lied about the date of the vote- they were officially made null and void.
Today, DOMA was struck down in the Supreme Court and I expect a similar ruling on Prop 8.
Even with the striking of Section 4 of the Voter Rights Act- I never trust states with poor racial track records to suddenly become better at it- sue me- I feel like I needed today.
America is beautiful and it is so, so flawed but some days, the legislature, the judiciary and sometimes, even the executive branch of our government come through.
Nothing like a little restored faith in the process of democracy to renew my hope.
Nobody can say I don't adore this place I am so lucky to call home- we have a lot to learn about racial inequality, about the realities of voter suppression, sketchy campaign finance and a million other crises- but one woman can stand in a Texas court and speak for 13 hours to protect the rights of every Texan woman, and that makes me well up with pride and even a few tears.
Some days I'm a bleeding heart liberal- it makes up for the days when I'm overly judgmental, cynical and disappointed in the system- even the liberal side of it. Today, though, I get to hug my co-workers, go out for cupcakes and truly celebrate these steps toward the America I want my kids to be proud citizens of.
Today is about fearlessness and love.
I do wish SCOTUS had put it's foot down and told Abigail Fisher and her wealthy white backer, Edward Blum that their case is based on assumptions that are outright ignorant of the current racial climate in America, but at least they told them that SCOTUS won't be trying to change precedent over an academically mediocre, privileged girl being snubbed for one college admission.
I don't understand the argument that being race neutral is more desirable
than being race conscious in a country that in many, many ways still reeling
from centuries of injustice, systematic discrimination, under representation,
disenfranchisement.
The real kind. Saying that race doesn't matter is wrong,
because we know that it does- we know that african american, hispanic and
native american girls and boys are significantly more likely to drop out of
high school, and it's not because they all don't feel like going - it's often
because America's poorest, unfunded and most written-off communities are those
which these kid's parents and grandparents were relegated to in the 20th
century, when racism was codified in American law and accepted in mainstream
society.
Does it not benefit our nation to bring everyone up to
achieve that American dream of rising to greater heights than our parents? Does
it not also make sense to understand a person as a whole and to understand that I am exponentially more likely to get better grades and be in honor
societies and sports teams because I had time, I had a whole family,a privileged lifestyle- I got to do the things that made me a great applicant. I didn't have to work to make ends meet, and I am statistically- just
because of my race less likely to have to do that.
There are desperately poor, hard working white people, and
black people and latinos and native americans, but if we pretend that being
white had nothing to do with the fact that it was easier for our parents and
grandparents to get ahead while their peers of color were pushed aside, then we
are wrong. If you have an education, your kids are more likely to achieve or
surpass that same education. We have a head start by generations.
And sure, my grandparent's were dirt poor and worked for
everything they had, but they were able to because nobody told them what they
could and couldn't do- they were able to move freely and safely, work wherever
their skills landed them and send their kids for the best education they could
afford, to schools they were able to get to without trials.
It matters how our grandparents had to live because it
directly influences the likelihood of our success and it determines how hard we
have to work for it.
People are people, and that would be relevant if every
person in this country had the same opportunities and predisposed likelihood of
getting to college if they wanted.
But that's not the case.
America is not fair and it sure as heck isn't blind to race-
making our educational system blind to race doesn't make the system more moral,
or even ahead of the rest of the country- it makes it complicit in the problem
by not responding to it.
- 7:55 AM
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Today, N and I woke up to beautiful June sunshine, opened his birthday presents (He's 27 tomorrow!) and headed to the farmer's market here in Falls Church. We knew we wanted breakfast and I was hoping for flowers and we were super excited about the endless samples (better than Costco) and the gorgeous colours of produce. Our first stop was Mama's Mini Donuts, which is open all winter long and at 6 fresh, hot doughnuts for $3 you can't beat the "ooooohhhhh" factor. I honestly don't feel very strongly about doughnuts but these are the one thing I get every time I head out on a Saturday morning.
Our next stop was Kate's Crepes, where we shared a ham,swiss, and maple syrup crepe which ran me $8, definitely delicious. I usually go for nutella, strawberries or lemon and sugar but I was so happy about the savoury option.
If you don't think peonies are flawless, you need to reconsider your stance on them. How perfect is this ligh pink bunch? *sighhh*
I didn't have the extra cash so I passed on them. When I get my own house though you can bet I'll be saving my change for fresh flowers!
If you don't think peonies are flawless, you need to reconsider your stance on them. How perfect is this ligh pink bunch? *sighhh*
I didn't have the extra cash so I passed on them. When I get my own house though you can bet I'll be saving my change for fresh flowers!
We had a great morning, sitting on the grass people watching, joking and sharing great food. I am reminded of how blessed I am to have a partner who makes me laugh and to live in this lovely part of the world while I get myself settled.
The Falls Church Farmer's Market runs every Saturday from 8 til Noon and it goes all year long. I love this market during every season and encourage you to stop by as well if you're ever in the area.
- 2:08 PM
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I hosted a little Midsommar last night with my lovely new German friend, it's such a blessing to meet new people in this bright, vibrant city. Especially ones who agree to wear midsommerkrans enthusiastically. My family didn't start embracing our Swedish heritage until I was pretty much grown, as my mother's Swedish family was pretty much all in the US (Michigan) or gone, but during Christmas and Easter and Midsommar, we often had Swedish embassy events to go to and I learned to love the food and the traditions that accompany what are now my favourite days of the year.
...So when Midsommar rolled around, I made some gravlax, pulled out my endless store of rye read, stocked up on strawberries, potatoes and schnapps and invited a new friend over for food and drinks until the sun set (way to early but it's the mid-Atlantic, what are ya gonna do?)
It was intimate but I had a magical time- just like you're supposed to!
So, does anyone else do a Midsommar in America?
- 2:02 PM
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by Katie KaestnerIt’s not been reported on here in the states, but in the world’s largest democracy the media is totally swept up in the suicide of a young, beautiful Bollywood actress. Suicide is, of course nothing short of tragedy, but as a survivor and someone who watches Mental Health issues pretty closely I cannot help but hope there is an opportunity for education here. Bollywood actors are speaking freely about the case, and they have the ear of the whole nation and most importantly, the youth but what they are saying isn’t helping anyone. There is currently a case being put together against Jiah’s former boyfriend Suraj Pancholi sparked by her suicide letter which details how it was the dissolution and dysfunctional nature of their relationship which pushed her over the proverbial edge. Her mother is fighting questions about whether being so famous and living with the pressure of Bollywood stardom did anything to push Jiah to towards her tragic end- she wants instead, to arrest Jiah's boyfriend and his father for abuse. I get that- I definitely believe that there should be serious questions about how women are treated in relationships, everywhere and certainly in India. I am 100% for examining the way contemporary relationships carried out in the context of conservative Indian culture can backfire and leave women in a scary place, but that can’t be the whole conversation. In 2011, the WHO showed that at a rate of 36% , if that number is anywhere near accurate- India has the largest occurrence of Major Depressive Disorder in the world. Every news article about the suicide seems to be accompanied by a photo of Jiah in her role as an always sexy Bollywood starlet-it's obvious this is about scandal and sex and not about the plague of mental health problems India faces. This is about more than slighted lovers, a ruined woman and a public breakup- this is about the reality of mental illness and the ways it is provoked and surfaces. ( By the way, this is one of the grossest examples, showing her Maxim photoshoot while reporting on her abortion)
There is a battle being waged between two camps, the family of Jiah and the family and friends of the influential Pancholi family. When the suicide letter was released, Jiah’s mother wrote an introduction in which she said “Some sections of the media and some film industry people are speculating that my daughter Jiah committed suicide because of depression related to her career. However the truth is that it happened only because of the trauma and the abuse she suffered at the hands of Suraj Pancholi and his father Aditya Pancholi.”
Aditya Pancholi being confronted by the media at Jiah's funeral in Mumbai last Friday. (Photo: AP)
The letter is heart wrenching and anybody who’s had a really bad breakup has felt these things temporarily, but there is a lot of other scary stuff in that same letter. One line reads “I don’t know why destiny brought us together. After all the pain, the rape, the abuse, the torture I have seen previously I didn’t deserve this”. I have to ask- how are we not talking about Jiah as a survivor of rape and abuse? She then spirals into desperation -
“I have nothing left in this world to live for after this. I wish you had loved me like I loved you. I dreamt of our future. I dreamt f our success. I leave this place with nothing but broken dreams and empty promises. All I want now is to go to sleep and never wake up again. I am nothing. I had everything. I felt so alone even while with you. You made me feel alone and vulnerable”
This girl was sick. This girl was a survivor, living through rape and an abortion. This girl didn’t have a chance in a world that emphasizes chastity and sexual attractiveness simultaneously. There is an apparent vaccum in the Indian media- nobody wants to confront the problem of mental illness. Actress Sonam Kapoor spoke out and briefly mentioned the need for the treatment of depression, but turned almost critical when she mentioned the allegation that Jiah took her life as a result of her breakup. "I can't judge anyone who is going through depression. It's something I will never understand…I think no man is worth it and you don't want to do that to your family. I can never pretend to understand what that person feels and at times such conditions are medical. All I would say is that get help and depression should be treated.” Naturally she followed it with “I think it's important as she was a beautiful girl and very young.”, reminding everyone that what antlers is that she was lovely and famous, de-emphasizing, I think her illness.(Sonam Kapoor to the Times of India)
This is an opportunity for people to talk about depression and abuse and rape, not to paint a woman who is already dead as the tragic, pathetic victim. Perpetrating the trope of the hysterical, slighted woman with too much invested in a relationship isn’t going to bring justice for the death of Jiah Khan- but opening avenues to talk about mental illness in Bollywood just might.
(All Photos: AP)
Related articles
- Jiah Khan suicide: Suraj Pancholi to be produced in court (ibnlive.in.com)
- LATE BOLLYWOOD ACTRESS, JIAH KHAN'S SUICIDE NOTE (asotechm.wordpress.com)
- 1:59 PM
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