If we fall apart out there, here we come back together again. Darting up the stairs, ancient and stoney up away from the road. Down there we jostle in and out of traffic and ignore the catcalls, shake off the stares. Faster, up around the corner we run to the little metal gate , behind it, great tall trees with names we don’t know and leaves that turn yellow and fall to the patio floor. Sigh. Up here, tucked behind the behemoth of a Nabulsi mansion that belongs to the landlord, things are quiet and they are decidedly different. Un-palestinian, almost.
We all love this city, we love the crazy roads, the bustle of the souk. We love these people who have taken us in and allowed us to call their land home, despite their home shrinking every day.
Still, when I pass through the gates of the Nasser house I feel a shift somewhere deep. I shed my cardigan although it’s almost too cool to do so today. My bare shoulders greet the midday sun which filters down through the leaves of the same trees that give me the privacy I require for this act of rebellion. In the few short weeks we have lived here all together, we have eaten, smoked, made fires and carved delicate art into this table. We burned sappy sticks and accidentally created a fireball, leaving our place of communion in waxy ruin. We cleaned it, carefully, with more thought than a plastic table deserved. It was like a christening, now the table is ours. All of ours. In every corner we’ve started to carve into the soft plastic and colour over with pens. A tree, a feather, a Palestinian flag.
This house is ancient. I can only guess that the elderly woman who lived here passed away. She was the mother of a school board member and so, the house feels different than the rented flat that most of the english speaking staff lives in. My flat is cold and always empty despite 8 residents. Nasser house is vibrating with life, uncontrollable and unownable. It’s history is bigger than all of us put together.
There’s a mobile on the patio now. Alex, a goofy bespectacled Wisconsinite who seems to have lived countless lives in his 24 years, made it of sticks and found red pantyose. Spencer, the most unassuming New Yorker I’ve ever met put up his prayer flags. There are scraps of paper on the walls inside, in a great collage of found writing, sketches and memorabilia of the least impressive sort. Every time I come over, the collection has grown.
Today it feels like fall, I woke up from a cat nap on the patio to return my cardigan to my shoulders, and all around my little glass of tea there were yellow and brown leaves. It could not have been mistaken for the autumn I learned to adore in the United States but maybe it was better.
Everything here is holy, every mountain is named in my Bible. This is the promised land. I was warned that this place might not bring me any closer to my faith, that it might wreck what I had instead of strengthening it as so many of the faithful hope for when they come to Israel and Palestine.
This weekend I made a pilgrimage of sorts to an organic farm that sits precariously on the edge of Bethlehem. Comfortably and entirely in Area C which is under full Israeli control still. I was drawn there when my colleague, our dreamy eyed art teacher, told me about a farm where I could camp. As a girl who has grown up in jungles and deserts and around campfires in every imaginable corner of the earth- I was very interested.
I adore my city with it's hilly roads and bustling souk but I was ready to get out into nature. It's a tricky thing with land so divided, settled and tightly controlled.
So, on Thursday I made my way up to the station where I could pick up a three row minivan-like taxi which would take me to Ramallah. The drive to Ramallah is lovely, winding and devoid of too many checkpoints. It is my favorite drive here, I can be so distracted by the scenery I don't notice the countless close calls we have with oncoming traffic, which is really something.
Once in Ramallah, I grabbed a Brazilian soda (hello nostalgia) and walked up to the station there. There were about 5 times more people going to Beit Lahem than there were taxis. After 45 minutes of nursing my Guarana I talk my way into a car whose driver has just returned and is charging us all 5 shekels extra to make the trip. We grudgingly give in, it'll be evening soon and I'm not trying to make this trip in the dark thankyouverymuch. The trip started out normally enough, but a sudden stop in traffic and an ominous message on the walkie talkie and we were off roading it. There was a checkpoint up ahead, so we careened precariously up above the highway on dirt roads. Occasionally the driver would jump out, cursing under his breath to move rocks or goats from the roadway.
This particular detour lets out at the entrance to a settlement. We tried to blend in with the outgoing traffic which won't be stopped by soldiers. Everyone stares, we were the only non settler car on the road.
After another checkpoint, a spectacular wadi and an hour of driving we arrive in Bethlehem and I find a local cab to get me out to Area C and Hosh Yasmin. The sun is setting. I arrive just in time.
Hosh Yasmin is heaven on earth. She sits on a hill overlooking a valley. There's a city in the distance I honestly don't know whether it's Ramallah or Jerusalem. It's all so close. The farm feels like it's a million miles from everything despite the fact that I can see the massive wall, and I noticed that strangely, I was on the other side of it. Not the side with houses and mosques but the....other one.
The building here has been threatened by bulldozers multiple times but it's pre 1948 so Mazan the owner has been able to run this place and keep it open to Israelis and Palestinians.
I dropped my backpack in my tent and ordered
dinner- the food here is legendary. Farm to table is a common enough concept here, but this stuff is organic. I order a lamb dish and hummus. The lamb reminds me of my mother's pot roast. It tastes familiar and yet so new. It's heaven.
After dinner, homemade Arak- a liquor common throughout the levant, Turkey and Greece in different forms and with different names. We don't drink at all in Nablus- it's a dry town. I
drank very, very slowly.
The next morning I woke up at 6am and strapped on my backpack. I was determined to walk to the Church of the Nativity and get out of town before the crowds bear down on Bethelem. I walked for an hour and a half, though what must have been an Israeli neighborhood and past a massive sign warning me I'm entering Area A and outlining the illegality of this crossing for Israeli citizens.
Waking up in my tent!
Olives at Hosh Yasmin
There is a wall here. It is a large, foreboding one.
You know it, it's a tourist destination in it's own right. Great street artists have emblazoned it with their work alongside the rough spray paint scrawls of whomever gets close enough. I stroll past the wall, stopping to take in it's sheer size only for a minute before turning back to my mission.
After crossing the entire city of Bethlehem I arrived at the church. The church where Christ was born. The man who I've known like an old friend my whole life, the man whose words written in red in my holy text have guided my life. I didn't know what I'd feel, but at 830 in the morning I was in the church with a solitary Armenian nun. She didn't speak English but we made exchanges in our broken Arabic. She led me down to the underbelly of the church to the spot where He was born. A posse of Orthodox priests trailed in, one by one, preparing for a service. I fell to my knees in the back of the small stone room and prayed like I have a million times before. We stayed, I watched the service from my small corner and didn't understand a thing. It was powerful, it was ancient, it was beautiful and it was the private communion I wanted to have there.
On my way out of the church, the tour busses are arriving.
A lot. Considering it's nearly 90 out and sunny all day. Of course, that's pretty normal. Nablus is definitely on the more conservative end of the list of middle eastern cities and because there are so few westerners here, all eyes are on us. I try to err on the side of caution with my dress, as a teacher of young women I want to make sure I look like a role model as much as possible. I was able to convert this into an outfit which enabled me to scale the side of a building, though.
It's all about versatility, right?
I thought
Boycotting Israel is a lot harder when you're in Palestine. Nablusi stores are boycotting Israeli products and I've found myself staring blankly at the grocery store knowing well that the Israeli apple juice tastes a million times better than it's local equivalent and feeling a tinge of guilt. I inadvertently purchased all Palestinian goods this morning at the corner store and Oum Sana at the register praised my choices profusely. I blushed. It was entirely a coincidence. I don't know how to even begin falling in line with the boycott movement that my students and colleagues adhere to- everything here seems to be Israeli. We are, after all living on land they control at the end of the day. I do feel as if it's important to stand with my hosts and avoid that gorgeous juice with Hebrew written on the label, so for now that trip to Super Store is a little more complicated, but that's what you get in a complicated land.
I saw
I spent the night watching the clouds on the roof of the boys' house. They live in a slightly dilapidated apartment, up the mountain from the school where we all teach. Seemingly ancient stone steps lead up from the road, around a sandstone wall to their gated doorway. The boys; Alex, Harry and Spencer are a comfort to have in this city and in the school. Their huge terrace, tucked behind lush trees is our refuge. At night we take off our ever present cardigans, exposing our shoulders to the cool summer evening air. It's wonderful, far from the prying eyes that follow us on the street. We ate dinner by candlelight- a huge pot of lentils and fresh bread. Bright Eyes played in the background. Funny how being thrust together in a strange new country results in a closeness I didn't find in DC for almost a year. After dinner, we climbed up window bars and found ourselves on the roof watching the clouds and the stars that peeked out from behind them. It was a simple kind of communion. I was covered in dust- a smell I didn't know I loved. It reminds me of being a child in a string of crowded cities, dust clinging to my hands and feet. Being up there with my thoughts, the heavens and a few new friends- I felt like I was home.
See that window? That's how we got onto the roof. Yeah.
Katie Kaestner is an American photographer, communicator and enthusiastic paleo home cook living in Frankfurt, Germany. She has lived in 12 countries, loves feminism, raw dairy, lifting heavy things and discovering new vegetables.